The God Pass

I lay in the backseat fidgeting uncomfortably with the handle at my head
and glaring sunlight at my feet...
not quite happy with the music the radio played..
overshadowed by the quarelling parents in the front seat..
my brain had stilled uncomfortably
I had numbed it down forcefully the previous night
Like injecting a screaming,manic,psychiatric patient with a sedative..
Now i bore the after effects..

A damp,groggy mind and a heavy head
the thoughts in my head were slower in their coming
and softer with their voices somehow..
every thought faded away before forming itself fully..
I tried to sleep,quite unsuccessfully..
Restless yet calm..

i sit up then.."are we there yet?"
nope..stuck in a traffic jam again..sigh..
I slump back down..
Try and change my position
and somehow end up more uncomfortable than i was earlier..

I look at the screen of my phone..
Blank and tranquil..just like i had commanded..
i was satisfied yet not so much..
and i think to myself.
Where am i going with this?
i dont need anyone..i really dont..
wish i could get up..
but my feet refuse to move..

Here we arrive finally
the music stops,the car chugs to a halt
i push these thoughts further away..
leave my strings and shoelaces behind
and wak into the religious building..

My feet are scalding,my hair is still damp
and my mind is still mute
the usual chaos of thoughts falling all over each other
and pushing upon the next ones shoving them back and forth
have all surprisingly..vanished..

we weave through the complicated man made pathways..
designed to tame untamed religious fanatics..
and here we thought faith was a quiet and private issue..

We enter one shrine after another
we take the special path closer to god
for a one fifty rupee ticket
pay up and you get closer to god!

The glittery and shiny gold plated idol
with all these priests walking around
chanting their own sacred sanskrit verses
Are they all dedicated to their god?
or are simply unclean minds in holy bodies?
whats a muscular body got to do with working in a temple and throwing flowers anyway?
do they wake up each morning and do their push ups and then proceed to "work" like the rest
of us?
my mind wanders about the corridors of the mundane..

A small boy next to me ,
prays in the earnest
nudged on by his older sister..
I forgot to pray,i forget the gleaming shining idol i paid Rs.150 to get closer to..
and watch the child pray with delight and fascination..
If there's a god in this world he's in magical moments like these..

Onwards we go..to the biggest shrine yet..


With a private enclosed are for us,special guests of god,the payers of Rs.150
the priest sits in a corner at a table
he has the same look about him that the librarian in our college has..
he has a bowl placed before him..
it is full of flowers floating in water..
holy water i presume..
place your fingertips on it,he directs us
In flawless english..
we obey,asks us our names and chants a few incantations and gives us a bowl of "prashad"
the yummy treat you get after slaving in a temple in long ,winding,rickety lines of religious persons..all for a glimpse of man made idol..
i remember thinking about the treat whilst we were supposed to be praying when i was a child small enough to go unnoticed in an average person's field of vision
grandma always sat me down in the cool marble courtyard outside the praying area and finally handed over the treat i had been patiently and impatiently waiting for..
It always got over too fast..
and there i was left with sticky finger ,thirst(because of the sweet)and thinking my adventure's over and i have to wait until next time for this treat..
so we take the prashad and walk forward where we are directed to sit down while the priests prepare for out very own pooha..
im already thinking about opening the packet and peeking a look into the mud pot with my treat..
the gods shine and glitter as always
jewellery,flowers and fancy clothes specially tailored..
the pooja's over and we're lead out of there..
to the commercial section of the temple..
that sold its very own god merchandise
T-shirts,lamps,food,paintings..
you name it, its here..
God sets up his very own supermarket
with orgranic produce and glowy stickers
I tire of all this unholiness..
i just want my prashad...
i console myself by the fact that
atleast i was honest about my intentions all along..
not like the farces over here
and hey i wanted the beads!
the sandalwood beads made and sold in the name of god
now we're done..after drinking our cold badam milk after shopping for god merchandise
and we head out of there
on the way out we tread on the scalding paths to the air conditioned four wheeler
back into the humdrums of the dissatisfactory radio stations..
lingering at the dial with my mind elsewhere..
stuck in a traffic jam again..sigh..
my stomach growls as I slump on the backseat uncomfortably once more..